incorrecttonyxeveryonequotes:

Bucky: Are you okay?

Tony: I’m fine.

Bucky: What does “fine” mean?

Tony: It means I’m perfectly content, but also wouldn’t mind if the sun exploded right now and killed us all.

autumnwoodsdreamer:

All the Small Things

Just some random Tony and Natasha headcanons…

• Tony and Natasha find solidarity in being the shortest of the Avengers. (Yes, Bruce has pointed out the fact he’s only a smidge taller than Tony, to which Tony pointed out that he doesn’t “act” short, so he doesn’t get to join the club).
• They speak the most languages of all the Avengers combined (besides Thor). They like to randomly challenge each other by going a whole day or week speaking Portuguese or Hindi or Japanese. Tony’s better at learning new languages and expanding vocabularies, but Natasha’s way better at accents and tonal variations.
• Weirdly enough, they have a similiar taste in music. They both love classic rock as well as orchestral music. (They also both play piano).
• They’re nerds. Absolute nerds. They’ve made a game out of trying to find pop culture references the other doesn’t get (no winner yet).
• They have the same, strange mix of refined and garbage taste. They will drink fine wine with a Big Mac and cheese fries, don’t doubt them.
• Tony is fully aware Natasha likes to “borrow” his shirts and sweaters and hoodies (and basically anything else that will remotely fit her). He’s not upset by it at all; he just takes note of which ones she particularly likes and tries to make sure he washes them instead of losing them in a corner of the workshop for months on end. (There’s a part of him that wonders if it isn’t just a ploy to get him to remember to sort his laundry more often).
• Natasha is the first person Tony has ever actually, properly spoken to about the cave and Yinsen.
• Tony is actually a decent cook (just not in cramped little jet kitchenettes), but Natasha helped him refine his skills. They enjoy cooking and sometimes even baking together. (“Avengers Assemble!” doesn’t bring the team together the fastest; “Stark and Romanov made lasagna!” does).

itsallavengers:

Srysly tho we call Tony Stark the Thotty Boy when he’s like the only one who’s been in a committed relationship for like more than two consecutive movies? Is getting married? Wants babies?? 

Meanwhile hoe-ass Steve Rogers got a new boo every half a movie, flirting with strangers on morning runs and tryna date an entire bloodline? It’s twentygayteen pals, time to expose Captain America for the thot he is

ironmanstan:

hydra agent, the bastard: soldat, mission report

bucky: mission failed

hydra agent: …what?? how?

bucky: the asset cannot harm tony stark

hydra agent: details, soldat?

bucky: hes tiny

hydra agent: DETAIL IRRELEVANT. SOLDAT. KILL STARK.

bucky, slamming him into a wall: yOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND. HE IS REALLY REALLY SMALL

a-salty-alto:

Nebula: I never understood why Gamora cared so much about her dumb human until I got a dumb human myself. I’ve only had Stark for a day and a half, but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in the galaxy and then myself

impossibleormerelyfantastic:

Friendly Reminders about Tony Stark

• Tony Stark stammers his words when he’s around a pretty person he likes
  
• Tony Stark likes to cuddle and is highly upset when he wakes up and his cuddle partner isn’t there.
  
• Tony Stark revealed to the world in 616 that he was Iron Man by saving a puppy from getting ran over
  
• Tony Stark is easily manipulated
  
• Tony Stark hates his reflection because he can’t stand looking at himself
  
• Tony Stark built a women’s shelter and knew as a man he could not be involved in the day to day operations and hired a woman to run it
  
• Tony Stark babbles when he’s uncomfortable
  
• Tony Stark is an Arthurian Dorkwad
  
• Tony Stark makes deprecating jokes about himself as much as anyone makes jokes about him and usually agrees with jokes at his expense
  
• Tony Stark has anxiety, depression, severe trust issues, and severe relationship issues caused by mental and physical abuse from childhood
  
• Tony Stark recognizes anxiety and depression in other people and aggressively tries to make them feel good about themselves
  
• Tony Stark fanboyed out the first time he met Cap in 616 and proceeded to make Cap a new shield that could fly and Cap tried to be polite but told Tony he wanted to keep his old shield and Tony was sad
  
• Tony Stark did NOT make Peter Parker the Iron Spider suit to “control” him during Civil War - Tony Stark made Peter Parker the Iron Spider suit because when everyone thought Peter was dead and it turned out he wasn’t Tony was so happy he gave him the Iron Spider Suit and called it Peter’s “Rebirthday Gift:
  
• Tony Stark made Carol Danvers a space ship with an A.I named Harrison for obvious Stark Wars dork reasons
  
• Tony Stark still recognizes mutants when he talks about people who protect Earth
  
• Tony Stark is the reason Registration hadn’t passed when the bill came up at least 3 times before Civil War
  

(Source: impossibleorsoontobearchive-blog)